Things Said in 1109 that only make sense in a LARPing context

(...and sometimes not even then!)

When we get back I'm gonna have a Dioralyte and a p*ss.
I'll just have a beer if you don't mind.
Telbar and Lugus

(Of a rather pretty Beastkin cat)
Next time she's on all fours like that, pat her on the head and ask if she'd like her tummy tickled. What's the worst that could happen?
A Mage Bolt?
Telbar and Lugus

Time out!
Right, bugger the Tarantulas then!
A referee and Lugus

Wiping your arse with flouncy sleeves is a dangerous occupation.
Telbar

How did my tabard end up in my trousers?
Lugus

Where's Game Control?
Toilets, First Aid, God.
Which is an accurate description of the end of the night.
A hobbit, Lugus and Telbar

I brought the log.
I thought it was just the way you were sitting.
Telbar and Lugus

If you're missing the furball, you can always chew on Damien.
Telbar to Lugus

Bastard things! I hate f*cking wasps!
Well don't do it, then.
Telbar and Lugus

It's too early to start hammering wasps.
Telbar

I've got a muddy helmet.
Telbar

It's not a handbag, and I've got pizza on my crotch.
Lugus to Telbar

Give me the contents of your pocket and I won't arrest you for the crime you haven't committed.
Telbar

I need to get some serious fluids inside me.
Try water before the lighter fluid.
Telbar and Lugus

(Of a rather pretty blue Rastafarian Badger bending over while wearing a thong)
Bestiality has never seemed less inappropriate.
Telbar

Half a cookie? What would she do for a chocolate hob-nob?
I don't know, but you'd probably end up with chocolate on your c*ck.
Tine and Owen

The only arse I've known where you'd have to throw grit down it to get a grip.
Owen of Tine

Everybody put down your weapons and can we get rid of the orc in the middle.
Reel caller directing square dancing in the Tavern

I can expose myself while keeping my left hand free.
Telbar

You're going to flash everyone, aren't you?
Telbar

The Bat'leth and Hammer. Thats a pub on Kronos isn't it?
Telbar

Is God open yet?
No, I don't thing God's up this early in the morning.
Unattributed

Beer, Dioralyte and Anti-Depressants all in one glass.
Not even Michael Jackson tried that.
Telbar and Pierre-Patrice

Later we can go out, arrest people and hit them. In the meantime I'm just going to stroll around and drink poof juice.
Lugus

I've got sticky poof juice all over my tobacco.
Lugus

You can't Mage Bolt somebody with a duck.
Unattributed

I've not found a way to make zombies burn safely.
Unattributed

You're just playing wasp tennis now and I'm in the middle.
Well, you've got to have some kind of net.
Sorrel and Lugus